Holmes and Watson
by Butterfly Princesses
Summary: Watson is just heading home, when Holmes and he begin texting one another... What words can only be said through text... and not in person? Oneshot ;


Watson was on his way home one night when he received a text from a random number telling him to text his most recent contact and tell them how old he was when he lost his virginity. His most recent contact was Holmes, of course, so he texted him the number. Holmes, unsurprisingly, knew what the number meant.

**Watson:** 18

**Watson:** Ahh...I mean…

Watson immediately wished he could retract the text, but it was too late. Holmes had texted back in a flash.

**Holmes:** Interesting. To whom, John?

**Watson:** None of your damn business, Sherlock.

**Holmes:** Everything is my business. I'm a detective. Tell me or I'll just find out myself.

**Watson:** I've changed the password on my computer to something incredibly hard to crack, good luck with that though.

**Holmes:** Hmmm...Strawberry.

**Watson:** Dear God.

**Watson:** NO!

How did Holmes know these things? It was quite a mystery to Watson, and he drew his coat tighter around his neck. Why did he have to go and mention his stupid computer? Holmes would know where to look now!

**Holmes:** Yes. Your password would now be Strawberry, am I correct?

**Watson:** How...how did you even guess?

**Holmes:** It's your favourite flavour of jam.

**Holmes:** But you always buy grape because I like it.

**Watson:** Sherlock, I'm begging you, if you know what's good for you…

**Watson:** SIGN OFF MY LAPTOP, NOW!

**Holmes:** Why...? What am I going to find?

**Watson:** I...never mind. Nothing. Nothing at all.

Yes. He would just deny it. That was a good course of action.

**Watson:** Go ahead, scour all of my documents.

Hmm… Maybe that was taking it a little far.

**Watson:** You'll never find it.

Yes. He had taken it too far now. Damn.

**Holmes:** Find...what...exactly?

**Watson:** Erm.

**Holmes:** John, what are you hiding?

**Watson:** Forget it, Sherlock. I'm five minutes away from Baker Street.

**Watson:** If I find you on my laptop when I return, I'll pull another Vatican cameo on you!

**Holmes:** No... Unless you tell me, I will password encrypt every file on this machine with unbreakable codes.

**Holmes:** Well, unbreakable to everyone but me.

**Watson:** I'm calling Mrs Hudson. She'll stop you.

**Holmes:** Mrs Hudson's out.

**Watson:** Phone ringing now...

**Watson:** Shit.

**Watson:** Mycroft, then...

**Holmes:** He's in Albania.

Albania? Why was he in Albania? This seemed awfully convenient.

**Watson:** Sherlock, please stop this.

**Holmes:** Shouldn't be back for another few hours,

**Watson:** There's honestly nothing interesting.

**Watson:** Nothing at all.

**Watson:** A few emails.

Yep, just a few emails. Throw him off the scent! That was the plan!

**Holmes:** Tell me what you're hiding!

**Watson:** Which you've no doubt already read.

**Holmes:** NOW.

**Watson:** There are...a few photos.

**Holmes:** Photos? Photos of what exactly?

**Watson:** I'll leave you to your deductions.

There was a pause in the constant texting, and Watson prayed that Holmes was not as good at finding things as he thought he was.

**Holmes:** Oh. OH. John!

Damn. Should have deleted them.

**Watson:** They're very old, Sherlock.

**Watson:** I was 18, remember?

**Holmes:** I didn't know you...well, you always so vehemently deny it...

**Holmes:** He's very aesthetically appealing...

**Holmes:** As are you, actually...

**Holmes:** I may have to borrow these...for an experiment...or something...

**Watson:** NO!

**Watson:** Sherlock, STOP!

**Holmes:** Alright. I won't copy them from your computer onto a flash drive and upload it to my phone and then encrypt them so only I can see them.

**Holmes:** I promise I won't do that.

**Watson:** That's exactly what you're going to do, isn't it?

**Holmes:** Already done.

**Watson:** Did you get that idea from Irene?

**Watson:** DAMN IT, SHERLOCK!

**Holmes:** I must admit, you're being incredibly defensive about this. You were young, we all make mistakes...

**Holmes:** Well, most of us anyway...

**Watson:** You've no idea

**Holmes:** What's so bad about these photos? I mean, it was something that happened. It's over. You have lots of sex with females now.

**Watson:** I'm in a rather...compromising...position

**Watson:** I'd rather not explain.

**Holmes:** Obviously, I'm not going to show them to anyone...I find them intriguing. Why do you still even have them?

**Watson:** We all do silly things.

**Holmes:** I don't.

**Holmes:** I don't do any things...

**Watson:** Excluding you, obviously.

**Holmes:** Does it ever bother you, how different I am? It bothers everyone else.

**Holmes:** Not that I care for their opinions...

**Watson:** I find it strangely endearing

**Watson:** I mean...

**Watson:** It's nice

**Holmes:** I don't think endearing has ever been used to describe me before. It'd be much better suited to you.

**Watson:** Sherlock...?

**Holmes:** John? What's wrong?

**Watson:** Nothing, it's just...I think you might have just paid me a compliment.

**Watson:** Either that or you're flirting.

**Watson:** Which, let's be honest, doesn't ever happen with you.

**Holmes:** Flirting? It's such an imbecilic word.

**Watson:** Well what would you call this then?

**Watson:** Oh, I know:

**Watson:** DISTRACTING

**Watson:** You're distracting me from the photographs!

**Holmes:** Well...you… distract me from EVERYTHING…

**Watson:** I do?

**Holmes:** Of course.

**Holmes:** Don't you notice?

**Watson:** I...I might've.

**Holmes:** You are incredibly unhelpful to me in a crime scene.

**Watson:** I'm sorry if I am.

**Watson:** I know you're married to your work.

**Holmes:** I'm trying to concentrate, and you're standing over my shoulder with your sweaters and your compliments...

**Watson:** Would it be better if I started job searching again? If I'm an annoying PA, I'll just go back to being a Dr.

**Holmes:** You're not my PA John...

**Holmes:** You're my partner.

**Watson:** Ahem.

**Watson:** That's...that's, um.

**Holmes:** We're detectives. Partners...?

**Holmes:** What is it now?

**Watson:** Nothing. Nothing at all. Almost home...

**Holmes:** We are though, partners...the website says Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, Consulting Detective's'

**Watson:** It's giving people ideas

**Holmes:** When will you learn, John? People don't matter.

**Watson:** To you, a highly functioning sociopath

**Watson:** To me, Sherlock, people always matter

**Watson:** It's a fact of life. I know you don't understand, but please try to.

**Holmes:** It isn't just me. Everything I've ever read about being a good human says to be yourself, do what you want to and don't get caught up in what other people say.

**Watson:** That's true, Sherlock... But it's hard to let go of others' opinions.

**Holmes:** I don't let go of everyone's opinions.

**Holmes:** But people, John. Random useless people whom you have no respect for; they don't matter.

**Watson:** You matter, though.

**Watson:** I don't want people getting the wrong idea about you.

**Watson:** It bothers me.

**Holmes:** I don't care what people think, John. I care what you think.

**Holmes:** I _only_ care what you think.

**Watson:** That's...

**Watson:** that's quite possibly...

**Watson:** ahem…

**Watson:** Should I drop by the Chinese restaurant and order take out?

**Holmes:** Yes. Of course, but John, finish your sentence.

**Watson:** I was going to say,

**Watson:** that's quite possibly the most sincere and humane thing you've ever said.

**Watson:** It means a lot.

**Holmes:** Well, I learned from the best.

**Watson:** I'm...glad...?

**Watson:** Continue to model my behaviour, then.

**Holmes:** So… I should dote on myself?

**Watson:** Wouldn't hurt.

**Holmes:** And I should wear cuddly sweaters, and then give no opportunity for cuddling?

**Watson:** Sweaters? I...WHAT?

**Watson:** Cuddling?

**Holmes:** I do believe I'm getting the hang of this 'flirting'.

**Watson:** Sherlock, what-

**Watson:** What do you mean, 'give no opportunity'?

**Watson:** Are you saying...you'd LIKE me to give an opportunity?

**Watson:** for snuggling, that is?

**Holmes:** I was only saying what I would do if I were to model your adorable behaviour. You may deduce what you will.

**Watson:** My adorable-?

**Holmes:** Behaviour.

**Watson:** You think I'm adorable?

**Holmes:** Yes.

**Holmes:** Along with everyone else on the planet.

**Holmes:** Molly thinks you're, I believe the phrase was 'made of kittens'.

**Watson:** Dear God, did she really?

**Watson:** But...I'm a doctor

**Watson:** and a soldier

**Watson:** I am NOT made of kittens, Sherlock!

**Holmes:** I know that. It's scientifically impossible.

**Holmes:** You are made from cells and atoms, like everyone else.

**Watson:** Quite adept at flirting, you are.

**Holmes:** I only learnt how today. But, if I may point out, you are not rejecting me.

**Watson:** Who said anything about accepting or rejecting?

**Holmes:** I was merely making an observation. Are you almost home? I'm hungry.

**Watson:** I'm outside, actually.

**Holmes:** What are you doing outside? Come in.

**Watson:** To tell you the truth, I'm feeling a bit...nervous

**Watson:** It's silly, this, texting each other when we're so close

**Holmes:** What could you possibly be nervous about? I'm the only one in here, hardly dangerous.

**Watson:** Sherlock...you know why.

**Watson:** This entire text messaging saga, that's why.

**Holmes:** Well then, stop texting and come talk to me.

**Watson:** Right. Well, then. I hope you're in the mood for sesame chicken.

**Holmes:** How do you always know what I want?

**Watson:** Sherlock, I'm coming up the stairs. Are you going to continue to text me until I'm right there, beside you?

**Watson:** Looking over your sculpted...

**Watson:** I mean...

**Holmes:** *opens door, phone in hand* Care to finish that thought?

**Watson:** Autocorrect. Still haven't gotten the hold of this iPhone.

**Watson:** *goes into kitchen, searching for plates*

**Holmes:** Of course. *sarcastically. Sits on couch and turns on telly* Any preference for TV?

**Watson:** You know me. Always a stickler for trash telly.

**Holmes:** Do you want to know how Days of Our Lives is going to end?

**Watson:** Don't tell me, I'd like to find out myself.

**Watson:** *Brings over Chinese, sits down*

**Holmes:** Occasionally not being on a case is...nice. I actually quite like Chinese food.

**Watson:** Guess what my fortune cookie says.

**Holmes:** 'You would succeed, if only you would try'

**Watson:** *cracks open cookie, looks at fortune*

**Watson:** How on earth...

**Watson:** *chuckles*

**Holmes:** Genius.

**Holmes:** Remember?

**Watson:** I forgot who I was "partners" with for a moment.

**Holmes:** I thought you took offense to that word. *Turns around, looking quite serious*

**Watson:** I...well, I...it's growing on me, I suppose. Since you so openly use it.

**Watson:** *drops fork, spills low mein all over the chair*

**Holmes:** Brilliant, John. *Starts brushing noodles off of the couch*

**Watson:** Sorry, my hand. It's the damn PTSD acting up.

**Holmes:** *Eyes glaze over* I'm sorry John. I will never be sorry enough...for leaving you...

**Watson:** Sherlock? It's fine.

**Holmes:** *Moves away to corner of the couch.* No. It's not.

**Watson:** Sherlock, I've forgiven you for that. You did it for me. For all of us. It was damn well heroic, if you must know the truth.

**Holmes:** It hurt you.

**Watson:** Yes. Well. You're here now, aren't you?

**Watson:** That's what hurt...you not being here.

**Holmes:** *Laughs softly.* We're breaking our 'don't talk about that time' rule.

**Watson:** You started it *smirks*

**Holmes:** _You_ dropped the noodles.

**Watson:** My hand did. Because of the PTSD, that YOU caused.

**Holmes:** *Flinches*

**Watson:** *sharp intake of breath* Sorry, Sherlock, I didn't mean...

**Watson:** *puts hand on shoulder*

**Holmes:** It's fine, it's fine, you shouldn't be sorry. I deserve it. *puts a hand over John's*

**Watson:** Forgive me. That was out of line.

**Holmes:** Always.

**Holmes:** You don't even need to ask.

**Watson:** Your hand is trembling...

**Holmes:** *Quickly takes both hands and presses them together* I'm fine John.

**Watson:** Christ, Sherlock, are you sure?

**Watson:** You look a bit feverish

**Holmes:** Your chicken is getting cold.

**Watson:** *looks down at lap, picks at chicken*

**Watson:** *looks up*

**Watson:** Shall I boil a kettle? You look unwell.

**Holmes:** I'm fine, but tea is good.

**Watson:** *stands up, paces for a few steps*

**Watson:** Right...I'll um… I'll just go get the kettle ready

**Holmes:** *drops head into hands while John isn't looking*

**Watson:** *from kitchen* Listen, Sherlock, I don't want you to think that I'm resentful over 'that time'

**Watson:** I was...heartbroken, of course.

**Watson:** You were my best friend.

**Watson:** I thought I'd lost you. But we're making up for lost time, and I would feel terrible if you thought I still somehow...was upset.

_Sadly, your connection has been lost. Please try the number and call again._

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